100 Day Count Down: Why Trip Purgatory is Actually the Worst
I couldn’t believe it when I went to complete my daily ritual of crossing off today’s date on my calendar in my cubicle and saw the number 100 staring back at me! I am officially 100 days away from July 12th, also known as the day that I will leave this country, and will embark on a very exciting, yet very long flight across the Pacific Ocean, through Tokyo and Singapore, and officially arriving in Perth, Australia.
When I made the decision back in October, it seemed like a distant idea—something that wouldn’t actually end up coming to fruition. It was never that I thought I would change my mind, but when you are used to living on a semester-to-semester basis, it’s nearly impossible to comprehend that something is going to occur in the time outside your normal frame of reference. But here I am, a little more than 3 months away from an experience that is going to change my life forever, yet I am neither leaving, nor arriving, I’m just being. I am in trip purgatory.
Trip Purgatory
There are a number of things I don’t particularly like about being a traveler, yet none come close to my hatred of what I like to call “Trip Purgatory”. The word purgatory, which is most commonly used in roman catholic doctrine, is described a place or state of suffering inhabited by the souls of sinners who are expiating their sins before going to heaven. Now I have done my fair share of sinning, but this is not the purgatory to which I am referring, although I’ll go along with the “state of suffering” idea.
What I am describing is that period of time where you are neither coming nor going. It’s where you waste away your days counting down to the next adventure on your calendar at your desk (guilty!), yet you are trying to soak in every second of every day in a place that you know you will inevitably have to say goodbye to. You spend your mornings on Huffington Post Travel or BBC Travel (guiltyx2!) looking for either inspiration for your next trip, or nostalgic reminders of previous trips, and your excited about the adventures to come, yet also anxious that you won’t be ready when the time comes. It’s simply a waiting period, otherwise known as absolute torture.
Trip purgatory has proven to the worst time and time again, and it never seems to get any easier. So for all of my fellow travelers, you will understand where I’m coming from, and for anyone who doesn’t, well this is why I’m going to seem insane over the next 100 days. Just brace yourself.
Why Trip Purgatory is Actually the Worst
1. You’re broke A.F.
Yeah, I said it. Trip purgatory is the worst because, well, you are usually broke. Not just a “oh I have no money to buy rounds of shots at the bar” broke, but a literal I-must-eat-ramen-noodles-for-the-next-3-months-much-less-have-a-social-life poor. You’re picking up pennies off the ground to save every bit of cash you can before your next adventure. It breaks your heart to pay those utility bills, and don’t even ask to go out because, well, you can’t. You want to hang out with your friends and “embrace the now”, but the reality is that you will have to stick with drinking water at the bar (guilty!) all in the name of travel.
2. The Waiting Game
Nothing causes more anxiety than waiting for something to happen. Be it waiting for the murderer to jump out at the protagonist in a scary movie or like impending doom of being cut off after graduation. Waiting tends to make people to get too far into their head and causes them to go clinically insane. They let insecurities or reservations they have about their next trip brew or they over think details that wouldn’t otherwise be an issue. It’s never logical, and once the event happens, everything always works out, but the more time you have to wait is the more time you get to spend combing over every detail until your hair falls out. This, coupled with the lack of cash, tends to have bad outcomes if a relatively cheap and constructive past time isn’t found in time (like perhaps blogging? Yup, people, that is 100% the case!)
3. You’re often torn between what’s happening now and what is going to happen
It’s already so easy to get caught up in what is coming instead of enjoying the now in everyday life, and nothing accentuates this better than trip purgatory. Whether it’s living one pay check to another, or trying to pass the time as fast as you can between trips, we have all fallen victim to forgetting to enjoy the present, and end up giving up the great adventures we could be having now for hypothetical adventures we will be having in the future. Days full of routine begin to blur together, and before you know it, your adventure may be here, but you’ve missed out on some pretty cool things all because you were in a rush to reach the destination, instead of enjoying the journey.
4. You can only plan so much, so far in advance
Being the borderline control freak that I am, I get excited by research, and by planning, yet when you are stuck in “Trip Purgatory” there is only so much you can plan, so far in advance, meaning that more of your time can be spent focusing on how your already made plans could go wrong instead of just letting it be. This, like the waiting game, can be detrimental to your health. It doesn’t matter if you find the most perfect temporary marketing coordinator job located right outside of your soon-to-be home for a totally awesome looking marketing firm three month before your arrival… you’re not there yet, and looking for a job that far in advanced never works, so you tend to just have to let it go (which hurts deeply) and pray something similar will come along closer to your departure date.
5. “Last Time” obsession
As your departure date nears, the “last time” thought begins to run through your head. You begin to go places or see things and think, “this will be the last time I see this.” The first time happened just a few weeks ago when I went home to Colorado to surprise my mom for her 50th birthday. It was the last time I would go the the Philadelphia International Airport, and I know it was just the beginning of these realizations. It’s not that I think that Philly is going to be destroyed immediately after I leave and I will never be back, but when faced with a large and significant trip with no particular end date, it’s hard not to think about the final time you will be in this one place with this one person. You know things will be different when you return, and even when you are seeking a change, leaving the comfort of how things always are is always hard.
In reality, it’s probably not the last time that ill ever be at the Philly airport, but I never said trip purgatory was logical. It’s easy to jump to saying “goodbye” rather than “see you later”, and it’s only going to get worse from here.
The Jump
100 days are going to go by, and before I know it, it will be July 12th and I will be headed to the Denver airport to start a whole new chapter of my life. I am both terrified and excited, and yet I know no amount of planning will be able to prepare me for the most amazing year of my life. As I continue to pack up my life and say my goodbyes, everything will become so much more real, which is both a good and a sad thing. However, I’m lucky to have a ton of awesome things to keep me busy over the next 100 days.
I don’t know if I’ll feel ready come July 12th, but when are we ever prepared for life changing opportunities?? Sometimes we just have to jump into the abyss and hope we land on soft ground.
Traveling Kelsey 
Ah I am also in Trip Purgatory right now – 8 weeks counting down. I hate the almost excitement – you can’t be too excited because its too long of a time to be constantly excited so you keep suppressing it… but not fully. Oh it takes so much energy! Great Blog!
I’m sooo glad that someone is in the same boat as me! Where are you headed too? I hate the constant struggle between wanting to be eager but not wanted to be too eager… ’tis the nature of the beast, i guess! 🙂 Thanks for the comment and good luck surviving the next 8 weeks! 🙂
So true – you also don’t want to annoy all your friends who you are leaving behind with your “eagerness” – but at the same time I want to do the “I’m going on a trip dance”! 🙂 I’m heading to the States and Canada this time round! Wish I was going tomorrow! Good luck with your trip – safe flight 🙂
Oh my god, 3&4 for real though.
Thank you for detailing the true horrors of waiting for a way-in-advance trip! I am currently in “trip purgatory” and feel your pain.
I’m glad you could relate! It IS torture, isn’t it? 🙂
Gosh, every single thing in this post sounds so familiar! I only have 3 more weeks to go (yay!) until my trip, but it’s the whole in between thing that’s killing me. Am I already allowed to start thinking about what I’m going to pack? Should I go out for dinner with my girlfriends or save the cash for my trip? Ugh! Your trip to Australia sounds amazing though, I’m sure those remaining days will fly 🙂